Ram: I am really uncomfortable with boss. His attitude towards me is always changing. My confidence on myself is dependent on how he treats me. I am really uncomfortable with this situation. What do I do?
Umi: If I tell you to leave, you will say, “I can’t afford to...” Whatever advice you receive, you will say that it is not possible, because if it were, you would have already done it. What you have created, and it is you and no one else who has created this, is an insolvable problem. You have created this because you have a very strong need to have an insolvable problem. So you see, you are getting exactly what you want, and you are solving your problem, very well, all the time.
Susan: Is acceptance simply a matter of the will or does it require a certain amount of strength?
Umi: Neither. Will is a tool of the mind and it supports the ego. And to apply strength for obtaining acceptance, is not to accept that which is happening. As long as you have an ideal as to how things should be, you are not accepting how this is. Acceptance is not difficult in it self, it is not intrinsically difficult, therefore there is no need for will or strength. Acceptance is only difficult when you have an ideal as to how your life should be. As long as you have some dream, some goal, some ideal or an attitude as to how your life should be, then you cannot accept.Then acceptance becomes a mountain, an impossible challenge. But for acceptance to happen, first let go of all your dreams, goals and ideals. Cease living in the world of dreams. In this moment simply say "Yes." - to that which is happening. Simply say "Yes, I accept. Thank you." And now live, this 'Yes, I accept. Thank you'. Whatever is happening in your life at this very moment, is exactly that which you need, for you, to become free, to become at peace, for Consciousness to emerge. And you have no idea what these really are. You cannot truly make these into some ideal. The truth is you do not know what this is, and you can never know what this is. All you can do and say is, "Yes, I accept. Thank you." And this is saying yes to whatever is happening. But there is one addition that is necessary for this acceptance to open. That is Awareness. And Awareness comes through meditation. That is the meditation of watching, and with no thoughts. And this will happen in depth, in the Buddha-field, of an Awaken one. This will happen with ease when you are no longer with others who are continually bombarding you with dreams, goals and ideals. Friends, relatives, teachers will try and help you by giving you some dream, or some goal and certainly trying to impart on to you their beliefs and their ideals. With an Awaken one these distractions will not be attached to you. With an Awaken one, you are accepted as you are. And being in this acceptance, all that is false will melt off you, until all that is left is your truth.
Ellen:I seem to be “addicted” to infatuation. How can I get past this?
Umi: It is not about getting passed anything. It is about simply seeing the root. As long as you are trimming the branches the root will become stronger. This is about cutting the very root. To cut the root you need to first see the root. There are two processes going on here. First the addiction and then the infatuation.
Addiction is the unconscious reaction to a physical or mental stimulus. There is a belief that if this need is fulfilled, then the suffering will go, even if it is temporary. At least there will be a momentary respite. This belief is stronger than any awareness that you may have, but this behavior simply increases your suffering. So what is the source of this belief? The belief comes from a physical or mental memory of past pleasure. Living with this belief, is living in the dictates of memories. This is living an illusion.
But the real question is, what is the cause of the suffering? All suffering stems from the belief that you are separate from the Whole. As long as this fundamental belief exists in you, there will be suffering. The next question is, how to dissolve this belief? This is the basis of the work that is happening here. Once this belief, that you are separate from the Whole is gone, there is no longer any addiction.
Infatuation is the belief that the other will fulfill some need. But when you pursue the infatuation, you discover that this fulfillment is only temporarily satisfied. And in fact, even then, the other is not the cause of this temporary satisfaction, this temporary satisfaction comes from the illusion created from your belief that this will happen.
Then one day you wake up and say, “What the hell am I doing? I don’t want to be with this person! This person is not making me happy!” Well, the honeymoon is over. Because the honeymoon was simply a horny-moon or a flight into fantasy land. But now the mind says, “Ah, but there is someone else out there, who will fulfill my needs. There is some soul mate, some special person.” And then: “There! I see him!” And the infatuation begins all over again. But once this belief is dissolved, then the game is over, and you are free. Because there is no one out there who will fulfill your needs. Because your needs are not out there. Your needs are inside you. You are experiencing a hole inside you and you desperately want to find a way to fill it. This is the main motivation of most actions. But this experience of a hole comes from the belief that you are separate from the Whole. Dissolving this belief is the basis of this work, and also dissolving all the conditioning and the programming, that society has given you, all that which keeps you enslaved. Because freedom is your birthright. And only out of freedom can love emerge.
Amanda: Why am I afraid of people?
Umi: Because you are afraid of yourself. Only when you love yourself can you love others. If you hate yourself, you will hate others, and be afraid of others. Any relationship that you have with another, the other is a mirror. Whenever you have a relationship, the experience has already happened before. The relationship is simply a magnifying of the past. You are attracted to that which you already know. You have been programmed as a child, and the program manifests in all that you like, want, hate, avoid, are afraid of and long for, and this is the totality of your personality.
In the West most have been conditioned to hate themselves. You have been programmed to believe that you are a sinner, that you have original sin. Many a guilt trip has been given to you. And you have accumulated all these negativities, until you feel like you are unworthy of being. And once you have been well programmed to hate yourself then you are told, "Love others." Now this is impossible. This is impossible because you are the nearest. If you do not love yourself, it is impossible to love others. But to compensate, and support your belief that you must love others, your love then is simply hatred masked as love.
The work here is for you to first love yourself. Once love has happened in you it will spread to others naturally. Remember you are a human being, and all the other people in the world are also human beings. They have different forms and have different conditionings, but underneath this, they are like you.
For love to spread from you around the world, the love has to start inside you. Loving yourself first, is planting the seed. Staying with loving yourself, is watering the seed. Start with your own heart. Feel your heart. Love is a flower from the heart. There is a sensation that emerges from the heart, a vibration, a flowing, fall into this, allow this. First there has to be a melting of the heart. You have been conditioned for the heart to be frozen, to condemn yourself. You have been told you are not good looking enough, that your behavior is not good enough, that you need to try harder, and that fundamentally you are of little worth, and you need to try hard to become good enough. These are all lies. These are all lies created by others who are suffering, and who also believe that they are not worthy. See that these are only the actions from the suffering ones. So begin by having a deep acceptance of yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. This is the beginning. And with this acceptance be delighted in "I am!" In the glory of here. In the joy of now. Ask for nothing else, simply see and delight in THIS. And see that THIS is always here and now. And see who is experiencing this joy. Ah! It is I. Ah! It is this glorious self. How cannot I love? How cannot I love myself. Wow! And in this awareness, in this opening of love, feel the inner change, feel the growth from this inner change, and feel the world all around you changing, and see how your fear of others has evaporated, and a deep peace has spread through you.
Umi: The intrinsic nature of the mind is to divide all into two. The mind divides experience into that which is acceptable and that which is not acceptable. In our culture “...a gentle and loving place...” is not only acceptable, but intensely desired. The actions from the desire for “...a gentle and loving place...” can often create stress and also push others into the opposite. But life is never that simplistic. Life moves through moments of ‘gentle’, moments of ‘loving’ and moments of ‘hard’ and moments of ‘isolation’. Life flows through all. To be attached to one form of life is to live in stress. Because all these are temporary. All is continually changing. As long as there are attachments there will be stress and misery. There is no “...up side to attachment...” Wealth may come, enjoy. Poverty may come, enjoy. Hardship may come, enjoy. Love may come, enjoy. Gentleness may come, enjoy. So let go of trying to find an “up side to attachment.” Simply accept what is happening. When there is total acceptance, there is peace. When there is attachment, there is misery. With a total “Yes” to all, an opening occurs, a shift occurs, and only then, are you available for Consciousness to enter.
Coco: Could You please explain, again, just what is this “awareness” to which you refer. “Awareness” of “what?” I have only a vague concept of what You mean by “awareness.” Therefore, I do not know how to be ”aware.”
Umi:Awareness is awareness of this moment. Feeling each sensation, hearing each sound, tasting each taste, smelling each fragrance, seeing each color, simply witnessing that which is happening in this moment. Awareness is happening when there is no thinking about what is happening, about and about, never being here. Awareness is simply being totally present in the experience of each moment. In awareness there is no past and no future. And in Truth there is no past and no future. In Truth there is only this moment, all else is simply a fantasy. The past is simply a memory, a fantasy of what you believe happened. The future is a fantasy of what you believe will happen. They are both fantasies. Being in this moment, with no opinions, no judgments, no understandings, or any other form of thinking, then all is real. Awareness is being continually in this present moment. In awareness a miracle happens. Each moment becomes deeper and deeper. Each moment awareness becomes fuller and fuller. All of Existence shimmers, vibrates, glows, and as awareness deepens, the creation called ‘me’ dissolves and all there is, is. This. And in This, there is an opening, an availability, a surrender, an acceptance and there is only bliss.
Michele: Why do you say "Awaken One"? Why not "Awakened One"?
Umi: It is very difficult for an academic to do this work. The academic has invested most of his/her life into accumulating knowledge and learning the 'proper way' to do this and that. The academic lives in a world of thoughts, structure, right and wrong, correct and incorrect. The academic lives in the past and the future, but mostly in the past and always in the mind. For the academic to do this work, first he/she will have to empty the mind. Let go of the accumulated knowledge, become empty. The mirror cannot reflect when it is covered with the dust of the past. The mirror cannot reflect if it holds onto the images. The mirror can only reflect when it is clean and open.
First know that the past and the future are not real. The only reality is this moment, this very moment, exactly here. The Master cannot be an Awakened One, cannot be something that happened in the past. Awakening does not happen and then finished. Awakening is always happening and is happening now. That is why the Master is the Awaken One. It is happening in this moment, here. That is why dead Masters are useless. Dead Masters are about the past. This work is only about this moment, about the present, about that which is happening in this moment. This is 'hands on' work. This work is practical. This work changes from moment to moment. This work can never be formulated. Each moment is unique. Each person is unique. This is why this work can only be done with a living Awaken One in direct proximity. This work is a heart to heart connection, a transmission, a transformation love.
Matthew: After reading your email, I felt compelled to write to you. I like what you teach. Thank you.
Umi: Good. Then the question that follows is, Are you ready to live it? Are you ready to be free? Are you ready to fly?
Anna: How would 2 or more "enlightened" people interact?
Umi: In silence.
Prema: What is the best attitude towards those people who accuse you of not being honest or not telling the truth, even if you provide facts about the real situation and yet they do not believe you. And in general what is the best attitude towards any person who would say something without knowing all facts, yet easy accusing you?
Umi: This is nothing to do with ‘those people’. There will always be ‘those people’ who will accuse you, who will assume they know about you, who do not believe you, who judge you. There will always and always, be these people, because this is the very nature of unconsciousness. All the meetings, all the conferences, all the explaining, all the studying, all the reading, all the trying in this way or that way, has never worked, and will never work. To put your energy in trying to rectify this is futile. It is like trying to protect your sand castle as the tide comes in. You may do it for a while, but eventually the sand castle will be washed away. See the futility of putting your energy into these useless and futile endeavors. In seeing this, you can only look at yourself, and ask: “What am I doing?” Because this is always and only about you. See that it is you that is uncomfortable, that is upset, and it is you that is creating this reactions in you. It is you who is reacting to these outside events. Start to watch how you react. Begin to see how it is your belief that ‘those people’ are the cause of your discomfort, that creates your discomfort. See this. Really see that it is this belief that makes you blind, not them. Yes, that it is your belief: “that ‘those people’ are the cause of my discomfort.” And then see that this is purely a belief, a thought—a belief, a thought of your own creation. In watching this, in accepting this, and accepting that I am doing this, that I am creating this belief, and then in putting your attention, your energy in simply watching and accepting all that is happening, then slowly the effect of these outside events on you, will dissolve. This is meditation—watching. First you do it by sitting with your eyes closed, watching the breath, and then you bring this watching into your day to day activities, and into all the events, with all the people, into all the accusations, and all the judgments, and then remember, all the while, you are simply watching yourself, not the others, watching and accepting yourself, feeling yourself and letting the fire of Now burn away this illusion of ‘those people’.
Questioner: Please explain how we can be fearless.
Umi: First look deep into the experience called fear. Feel the physical experience. Be aware that beneath the word is simply a physical experience. Fear comes from the body/mind. It is the intrinsic nature of the body/mind. This is a program for survival for the body/mind. As long as you identify with the body/mind you will experience fear. As long as there is an ‘I’, an identification, a ‘me’, or even a ‘we’, as long as there is a belief that I am the body/mind, there will be fear. Fear comes from the belief that who I am is separate from the Whole, that ‘I’ am a separate entity, that if the body/mind does not survive, then I won’t survive. So it is absolutely impossible for the ‘we’ to be fearless.
When these identifications with the body/mind fall away, then fear becomes meaningless. Fear becomes a movie of the body/mind. Fear is seen. Fear happens. But it is simply watched from afar. So fearlessness happens when ‘you’ are no more. Also when love happens, then ‘you’ are no more. When ‘you’ are, then there is no love. Love and ‘you’ can never co-exist. When ‘you’ are, there will be fear. When ‘you’ are no more, there will be fearlessness.
The work here is about dissolving the identification with the ego. The work here is about making space for love to emerge. The work here is to create a space where, who you really are, can blossom. In this blossoming there is only fearlessness.
Ian: What is the final purpose of being in the moment? How does this process work?
Umi: There is no purpose to being in the moment. This moment is all there is. To not be in the moment has a purpose. Not being in the moment is the most purposeful. To not be in the moment demands a lot of work, a lot of energy. To not be in the moment you need either a desire or a fear, or both. You need to have an agenda, usually hidden. You need to struggle and think and protect and think some more, it is a lot of work. Not being in the moment is like trying to keep twenty plates spinning on poles. Whereas being in the moment, you are simply here. There is no thinking, nothing to protect, no struggle, no fear, no desire, there is simply the miracle of this moment. This is bliss. This is happiness. This is freedom. This is truth. How does this process work? It simply is.
Anna: Dear heart Umi, I listened to the broadcast last night, if ever the question I asked in my previous email could be answered, it was last night. Unmistakenly, truth is ever the broadcast, but so few are tuned into the same frequency, even fewer are willing to set aside for a moment the script of who they think they are and therefore, who they think you are, based on that script; many years ago, I had a conversation with one of the owners of a downtown (the oldest and most abundant in every category) metaphysical bookstore. I had asked for a particular book by Ram Das, he went to great lengths about the content of his work but proceeded to negate his work based on (Ram Das') bisexuality. I couldn't and didn't say anything at that time, I just understood the man was just showing exactly where he was "stuck"; here he is with all these books at his hand, and yes, he had read a majority of them and yet still had not understood. Yesterday the same experience came--amazing, when we finally get it, the only thing we can see is where the "other" as "we" is "stuck". A great deal of compassion arises but also that sadness I spoke of in my previous email. Love you forever.
Umi: Ah! One star! Thank you Anna. To see this, is so rare. Yes, very few can see this. The love from here is available to all. There is a great sadness in this heart. This offering is so simple. Very few can receive it. It is easy to throw stones. Flowers have no resistance to stones. This is not being pushed on anyone. But the "we" is so fragile, that any expression of difference is a threat.
I heard a man a singing, And his heart was in his song, His notes were here and there And very often wrong. But his heart was shining through, In all its simple purity And I loved him in his openness And I love him in his song.
But a man of notes and training, Was passing by the road, He cringed and wailed and shouted And stumbled with his load. "Hey, stop that caterwauling! "And stop those notes so flat "Your singing is atrocious "I surely will explode."
But the singing man's still singing And the roses open wide And the thunder moves and crashes And the world lies on its side It laughs with joy and wonder. It spins and rocks and rolls And the man of notes and training Is on the other side.
Celimone: I am sick of not being total with anything I do. I can hear Umi saying “be total,” but my body doesn’t know what that means.
Umi: Your body only knows what being total is. That is all your body can do. When you are in your body, doing without thinking you are being total. It is your mind that stops you from being total. And it is your mind that is sick. Your mind is scared of letting your body be because then your mind will lose control. When you are only doing what you are doing and not doing what Brian said or what you are going to do tonight... when you are wiping the table and only wiping the table and not thinking about what just happened or happened yesterday or what you are going to do tonight or how you are going to explain yourself to your parents...when you are only wiping the table and completely with the action of wiping the table then you are being total. And being total is the only truth.
Questioner: I'm an artist and I paint murals. I thought I could come to San Francisco and find this work here. But I have not been successful. So now I feel like I'm being forced to look for a waitress job I’ve put a lot of resumes out and I haven't received any word back. It's something I said a year ago I'd never do again. That is why it's been so hard. I just want to believe that all my dreams can just immediately manifest like I feel, and I feel like there's a hand that pushes me. I'm tired of struggling.
Umi: You need more experience in other areas of life. If you can say yes to what is happening and go into that fully, with total acceptance then the opening will come for your artwork. But now you are not yet ready. When you start out in the creative field, and after you have passed certain levels of the technique, you find your mentors in that field, and emulate them. You are influenced by them. This is part of the learning process. But then there comes a time when you need to drop that. Some people never drop that. They are always an expression of this mentor. Then the work comes out of fear. Then the work is dead. Then the work is mundane. But if you have the courage to drop the mentor, drop the safe ways and totally start again, then the real work can begin. Sometimes you have to go into the desert to drop all the old baggage, sometimes you have to go into the desert of the heart, sometimes you need to become ordinary and simply be a waiter. Only then can your true self emerge, only then can the real creative work blossom. Sometimes you are banging on the wall, but there is an opening door down the hall, but you are too full of ideals and opinions to see the door. It's like the fly that's trapped, and the window's open. It keeps banging on the glass. And then it gives up, falls to the windowsill and flies out. This is about saying yes, this is about accepting what is happening. Being here totally. Your creativity can only blossom when you are not. As long as you are in the way your thoughts, ideals, opinions, judgments block the flow of creativity. Remember the true artist is not the creator. The true artist allows the creativity to flow through. When you can be a hollow bamboo only then can the sound emerge. Opinions, ideals and judgments are like stuffing the bamboo flute with socks. But now you are ready to receive this message. You are ready to accept totally that which is happening.
Questioner: People can so easily knock me down, little things they do seem to go right through me, there is a dark side that keeps trying to take control, a part of me that is mean and wants to close everything down and kick anything that comes close. I am fighting to keep that dark side from being in control. I need to clean house, get myself back, feel like I lost myself somewhere along the way...I used to be happy.
Umi: Oh, I know this space so well. I too spent many years struggling through this darkness, trying to find a way to get out from under this darkness. After finding that other people could create so much disturbance in me, that there was always some situation, some person would knock me off my center, some dream that would get knocked down, and I would find myself in some hopeless situation, so I became self protective, shut down, and critical of others. But then I began to discover that the only person that this was hurting was me. This was making me tight, tense, lonely and miserable. And then the greatest discovery happened. I realized that this misery was not caused by situations that didn't work, by people knocking me off my center, by my dreams being knocked down, by being in a hopeless situation, but that this misery was the result of my not accepting what was happening.
Not accepting the dark side. Trying to prevent the dark side from being in control of me, not accepting that other people are the way they are, not accepting their anger, the destructiveness in others, not accepting that my dreams were not materializing, not accepting that I am in a hopeless situation. I realized the problem was caused by me not accepting what was happening. With this realization I began an experiment. I began to accept whatever was happening. I began to accept everyone exactly as they were. I began to allow what was happening around me. And then I discovered a whole new gift. I discovered that through total acceptance, I began to relax. I began to enjoy all that was happening in a totally different way. It was like the sun had come out after a dark heavy storm. I felt so much joy.
And then a miracle began to occur. Gifts began to come, gifts that I had never imagined. It was as if my life took a turn. Instead of my life being the struggle of me trying to fulfill my dreams and hopes, it became a life of surprises, surprises that I didn't imagine and could not have imagined.
And this all happen by my simple decision to accept all that was happening to me. And I mean all. Not just the enjoyable events, but all, even the dark side, even the night, even the winter. Yes, total acceptance.
Taliesin: I've been feeling really depressed lately.
Umi: What does that mean?
Taliesin: Feeling sorry for myself.
Umi: Depression is caused because, what you want and what is happening are not the same. That is all that causes depression. So instead of trying to make them the same, which is what society teaches you, be aware that the real problem lies in what you are wanting. Once you truly realize that it is what you are wanting that is causing the depression, not what is happening, then you can let go of the wanting. Because what is happening, is what is happening. As long as you want something else other than what is happening, you will be in discomfort. Once you accept whatever is happening, then you can relax. How can you be anything but comfortable when you accept what is happening? Even if it is physically painful, if you totally accept it, you are comfortable. When you truly accept what is happening, then that, which is in you, can emerge, then there is great satisfaction. But as long as you are wanting something else you are blocking your uniqueness to blossom from your center.
Taliesin: I don't know how to do that. I don't even know what is there.Umi: You're doing it more and more. The first thing is accept whatever is happening. Accept other people, no matter what they do or say, you simply accept them. Just keep reminding yourself, this is their nature', this is how they are right now, in this moment.'
Taliesin: I just get into this state where I start feeling kind of low and then I start indulging in it. Now I've gone and made myself sick. I feel this fever coming on now. It's such a habit.
Umi: The body is very responsive. But it all begins with a thought. The whole thing is to be aware when that thought comes. The difficulty arises when you grab onto the thought. If you don't grab onto it, it goes. The moment you grab onto the thought, then it increases. Meditation is about watching and not grabbing onto thoughts. You simply watch. Meditation is learning to watch more specifically. Really learning to watch. It's learning to watch in a relaxed way that's totally here. Absolutely alert, so you're not just going off into some sleepy state. It's being totally alert, but relaxed. And when the thought comes, you don't do anything with it. There are channels in the brain. And that is how you learn. The synapses create these various channels. And the energy just automatically goes through these pathways. This will continually happen. But you have to continually reinforce them. So the thought comes and you reinforce it. If the thought comes and you don't do anything, it eventually stops being created. And then these channels in the brain fade. It is like a muscle. If you don't use a muscle it atrophies. It's the same with thoughts. It's the same with concepts. If you don't use them they go. Meditation is watching. You are just simply here, watching, and you don't catch them anymore. They come and you don't do anything with them. And this actually, physically, changes how the brain operates. The only reason you keep reinforcing these thoughts, these brain channels, is because these were given to you by parents, peers and other people when you were young. You accepted them because when you were young you felt very vulnerable. You felt your survival was very fragile and that you were dependent on these bigger beings--these adults--in order to survive. So you took on their behaviors, their feeling, their patterns. But that's finished with now. You don't need that anymore. So this is about letting them go--letting all those patterns go. This is about being free from this condition. Meditation is a process of becoming free.
Beloved friends A few more words.....................
You asked to know the difference between detachment and indifference. The difference is often misunderstood and this misunderstanding can cause an aversion to detachment, because it can be mistaken for indifference. The difference is simple to understand. It is as simple as understanding when you are sick and when you are healthy. As your detachment grows, you will feel healthier and healthier, your life will become a blossom, a joy, a celebration, a dance. But when you are indifferent, you will feel a deadness, a numbness, there can be no growth, you will be stagnant. But as you move into detachment, your love will flower and you will be full of joy and you will not have the burdens of attachments weighing you down into the quagmire. Whereas indifference is keeping the quagmire inside your mouth, inside your belly, inside your heart. With indifference you become obsessed with your deadness, complaining, but continually creating the pain and allowing it to be your norm. But with detachment you will be light and full of joy for absolutely no apparent reason. With indifference nothing can change and with detachment everything will change. With detachment you will dance and sing. But if you are attached to an idea of how you should be, this will stifle your ability to dance, sing, love and to be filled with joy. it will stifle your ability to feel the miracle of life. You have called it love when you feel attached to another. This is not love; this is possessiveness. Love can only flower through detachment. Attachments create bondage and you will imprison the other to support your fears, your ego, your beliefs and they will agree to this as long as you support their fears, their ego, their beliefs. From this you will create a mutual prison, a prison where indifference will simmer and decay your life. But to be in detachment will allow love to grow and only then can you be truly free.
Question: I am trying so hard to be truthful. To live in the truth. I have done many different practices to find the truth and nothing seems to change. I always come back to the same place. Please help me find the Truth.
Umi: Pursuing Truth creates suffering. As long as you are pursuing truth, you will suffer. The work here is not about pursuing truth. This work is about recognizing what is false. By recognizing what is false, the false loses its hold on you. By recognizing what is false, the false fades away, until all that is left is the Truth. False is that which comes and goes, which is impermanent, which has a beginning and an end. Anything that has a beginning and an end is not real. Truth has no beginning and no end, it always is. In this work there is nothing to obtain. When all the false has emptied out, you discover that you are full. Yes, only emptiness is full. Your mind is so full of the false. Your mind is full of desire, fear and guilt and these make you feel empty. These make you chase rainbows. When these have gone, when you are empty of these, then for the first time you are full. But your mind is going so fast in chasing this and trying to do that, trying to fill this hollow. This hollow feeling is different from emptiness. This hollow feeling comes out of the false. It always comes out of an ideal. You have been taught so long and so well that there are certain ways that things should be, certain behaviors that should happen, certain objects that you must obtain, and every time your life does not fit these ideals, you suffer. So your life becomes a continuation of striving to fulfill these ideals. But the answer is not trying harder, the answer is to stop. Simply stop trying and accept what is happening. Why is this message, which is so simple, so hard to understand? Why is there so much resistance to it? Because resisting is the only way the mind can stay in control. This is your choice, be a slave to the mind or be the master of the mind. There is no other choice.
Umi: You are trying to understand Enlightenment. You can only understand that which is in the mind. The mind is a mechanism of thoughts. It creates thoughts, re-arranges thoughts, plays with thoughts and the whole process is separate from your Being. It is impossible to understand Enlightenment. Because to understand, is to use the mind. Enlightenment is a transformation of your very being. You have to allow the transformation to occur. Trying to understand Enlightenment is like trying to understand the taste of food. You can think about the food for ever, but you will never know the taste of the food unless you taste it. The experience of the taste of food is nothing to do with thinking and understanding. You can ask me whether this dish tastes good and I can tell you that it tastes very good. But you are no closer to knowing the taste of this dish. You have to taste it. You have to become one with the food. You and the food blend. The very act of tasting a dish changes you. And in order for you to taste the food, there are certain actions you have to perform.
What is “Hmmm!” It is falling into the taste. It is in that moment you disappear into the taste of the food. This is a transformation. But if you are in your head and thinking about this, the whole experience becomes academic and surface, and you miss. It is the same with Enlightenment. For Enlightenment to occur, there are certain actions you need to perform.
Prakesh: How can I live up to my highest expectations?
Umi: You cannot. Because you can always have expectations higher than you can reach. There is no limit to the height of your expectations. So as long as you have expectations, you will feel inadequate. As long as you have expectations you will never be satisfied. But when you have no expectations, when all that is happening is accepted...when you accept that all that is happening, and know that all that is happening is exactly what you need in this moment, and you are open, and allowing, and being with this, then you will be content. So drop all expectations. Instead of dreaming for some special future, see this moment, see that which is real, here, now, and then go deeper and deeper into this moment. With no expectations, all is a gift, all is enjoyable, all is the highest touch with the Ultimate. This moment is the highest spiritual place there is. This moment is the hand of God. Be grateful that you have this moment, and this moment, and this moment...
Question: I am always so active. Why do I find it so difficult to stop, to simply be?
Umi: A common motivation for action is fear. Most actions have fear as the base, the motivation, the justification for the urgency. When the fear is recognized, there is discomfort. And immediately you develop a fear of fear. But then you become very creative, and you find many ways to try and avoid fear. So you develop momentary escapes from fear, but these methods of escape from fear, become a source for more fear. There is the fear that you may lose these protections that you have created to avoid the first fear. So then you develop more techniques to protect these, and on and on. It becomes endless and more and more complicated. This is the ‘rat race’. This is society. And there is absolutely no solution in eliminating fear that way. It is absolutely impossible to avoid fear by creating a strategy to avoid fear. All that happens is you have a fear of losing the strategy. This is the madness of society. And then the action of desire emerges from some other belief for another way to be free from fear. And there are always people with advice on how to be fearless, how to be brave, how to have courage. But this gives you the fear that you will not live up to this ideal. And always wherever you turn, underneath, there is still the fear. It is endless, so what to do? The solution is so simple. The solution is right in front of you. The solution is: Simply accept fear! That’s all! Totally accept fear! Be with the fear! Allow the fear! Because fear does happen. Yes, there is fear! So simply accept it. It is the non acceptance of fear that multiplies it. No matter what you do...you can build yourself a fortress...you can have guns...you can have hidden cameras...you can go on and on and on, but your fear just increases. You can develop good manners. Learn all the things that people want to hear. Say certain things that will make people smile at you but you just become phonier and phonier, and deep down there is a fear that now you will say the wrong thing and they won’t love you… they won’t like you, they won’t allow you to do what it is you want to do. But when you simply accept fear. Because fear is part of life. Yes, you simply accept that there is fear. If we make a loud noise, right now, the cat will run out the door. She’s not going to say, well I’ve got to be brave. She’ll just run out the door...she totally accepts fear. And then it is finished! See the insanity. You go on and develop these techniques…putting on makeup, is simply a technique to avoid fear...fear of getting old...fear of not being beautiful. So simple...just accept the fear. It is such a miracle when you accept fear, everything changes. Shaking may happen, trembling may happen, that’s what happens. The leaf on the tree starts to tremble. It trembles. It doesn’t fight the wind. Trembling can happen. If there is a concept of how you should feel, then there is going to be fear. But if there is acceptance of what is happening, fear may come and fear will go. Things come and they change. When fear happens, take away the word ‘fear’ and simply accept the physical sensations. Feel the physical sensations. Accept them. Accepting the physical sensations and being with them, they reach a peak and then subside. Finished! This is witnessing. And with total acceptance, love will emerge from your center.
When you are unaware, your primary motivation, your actions, your day to day activities will be from fear and desire. Now see these two for what they are. Fear is memory of pain. Desire is memory of pleasure. Both come from memories. To live by the dictates of memory is to miss the gifts of this moment. Is to miss all there is...because to live by these dictates is to live in the past. You may think that your fear is in the present, you may think your desire is in the present, but the truth is these two are from the past. From your memories. When you are totally in the present there is no fear, no desire. Only there is, all that is. Also your memories of pain and pleasure, which are creating fear and desire, before they come into the front of your mind, are changed by your mind, to fit your mind’s need to support your mind’s beliefs. This is how your mind protects itself. Can you see the insanity? Can you see the creation? Now is the time to do the work. The day to day activities. Washing dishes, driving the car, making money, speaking on the phone, cleaning the car, vacuuming the carpet, having a bath, making love, drying the dishes...and doing these with totality.............................with total awareness.... being right there in the action. This is love. This is simple. This is being.
Kim: I’ve been having health issues for quite a while. I was wondering if you could speak about healing?
Umi: The mind and the body are the same. The body is simply a physical manifestation of the mind, and the mind a metaphysical manifestation of the body. So when you have a physical discomfort, you find that it is also in the mind. And when change happens in the mind, which can happen through some of the work that you’re doing, it can create physical changes as well. The greatest healer is acceptance. There is a program in the body-mind to heal itself. It is programed that way. It is hard-wired. What we do, generally, is we prevent it from happening, by thoughts, by diet, by activity, by various things that we do, we prevent the healing process. And the more you watch, the more aware you become, you become aware of how you are doing this. And the mind will come in and create guilt and condemnation, which increases the destructiveness of the body. And awareness is about seeing all that, seeing that process and accepting that it is part of the process. And if you are sick, accepting it. Doing what the body wants--if it wants water, if it wants rest--and it will do the healing. R. D. Laing, the psychiatrist, used to heal schizophrenics without drugs. He was hated in the medical world because the medical world is dependent on the drugs. The education is financed by the drugs. So the normal way with schizophrenics is to give them drugs which keeps them in a limbo--stops them having these experiences. What R. D. Laing would do is he would take the schizophrenic into his home and he would just sit with them and let them go through all the turmoil and the process. Sometimes it would take days. And they might go through hell. There might be screaming and all kinds of visual things happening. R. D. Laing would support them and just be with them. And they would come out of it. R. D. Laing said that it was very similar to an extremely intense LSD trip. And the whole process was allowing the person to accept what was happening-encouraging them to accept. They would go right into it--and through it. And that is the same with all healing. Healing is about accepting what is happening, allowing the process to occur. It is as simple as if you have a little sore and you keep picking at it, it can’t heal, right? The whole basis of Chinese healing is to create a balance so the natural process can occur. What acupuncture does is it helps the energy to increase and helps open some of the blocks where the energy can not flow to help the natural process occur. Western medicine believes you are like a machine. They take a part out and put a mechanical heart in, we’ll change this or we’ll put these chemicals in. And they see it in bits and pieces, not being aware that every part affects everything.
It has been discovered that any emotion you have can be seen in every single cell in your body, whatever the emotion is. For example, if you are depressed, your body is going to start deteriorating.
In this work there is healing at many levels, because the whole being has been so damaged simply by the belief that you are a separate entity, that you are separate from the whole. With that belief, you have struggled for lifetimes trying to maintain security, trying to find how to fill the whole. And you have been struggling on the outside, not in your core. Not in your being. So there’s a lot of damage done and everyone has told you false things and you have accepted them. And so therefore when you start doing this work, all that infrastructure that has been created under the belief of survival starts to collapse. And fear comes up, because the mind has created this program that this is how to survive. And all that starts to collapse. And that is why mystics create ashrams. That is what we are doing here-creating a little community to help support that process. This is a womb of love where the healing can occur.
Question: I have recently lost someone whom I loved not due to death but a bad break up. I am dealing with grief and loss. Should I let the grief flow through me and take its course or should I try and manage it? I still have dreams at night. Some are bad and some peppered with good and bad with respect to this person. I woke up this morning thinking I wish I could control the dreams or somehow my thoughts right before I go to sleep. I wish I could be free from the burden of this grief.
Umi: The first question here is, do you really want to be free, or do you simply want to create comfort in your present situation? If you want to keep all else in your life the same, but change this one discomfort, then I cannot help you. But if you are ready for full transformation, then this is the work here. This work is not about re-arranging the mind. This work is not about being "...free from the burden of this grief." This work is about dissolving the creator of the grief, the 'I'. Dissolving the creator of the, "I wish..." The very 'I' that creates this grief will, once this grief is over, create some other misery, some other discomfort. That is the nature of this 'I'. So this is the first question. Are you ready?
Questioner: Dear Umi I recently had a conversation with my husband about happiness. I asked him which if any of our relatives are happy? He asked me what is my definition of happiness. I said someone who has found inner peace and contentment and is satisfied with their lot in life. We couldn't name a single relative.
Umi: Beloved Karen, it is not possible to find inner peace as long as you are pursuing outside of yourself. As long as you are searching outside of yourself to find peace, trying to create peace or trying to have contentment, and as long as you are pursuing this in objects, people or ideas, which are all outside of yourself, you will only find suffering. All these are impermanent, all these always and only come and go. That is their nature. And to expect to find peace in a thing, a person or an idea that soon will change, that soon will be gone, is to set yourself up for continual misery. This is the suffering. So the question is, from where do these impermanent objects and experiences come from and where do they return? To discover this you need to go inside. In going inside and searching for the source, really searching for the source, not creating some idea or belief, but simply searching, going beyond the mind, then and only then will you be one with the permanent. Once you are one with the permanent, you will have inner peace. And being at one with the source, you are able to enjoy all the outside objects, people and ideas. You have no attachment to them, and this allows you to be totally free. Then Life is a continual joy.
Questioner: Umi, are you happy?
Umi: As long as you are happy, you will also be unhappy. One creates the other. Happiness comes and goes, it is impermanent. But when you go beyond the duality, when you go beyond this or that, when you go beyond the impermanent, you become pure bliss. Yes, this being is in total bliss.
Questioner: What is the objective of our existence?
Umi: To become consciousness. To become one with the Whole. This is being complete. This is bliss.
Questioner: Is it to be happy? Is my definition of happiness attainable?
Umi: Forget happy. There is so much more. There is true indescribable peace.
Questioner: Have the people you have been working with at the foundation found happiness?
Umi: They have moments of deep peace. And as the work continues these moments will come more often. But not until the Awakening happens is there pure continual peace. This is Enlightenment.
Questioner: How many happy people do you know?
Umi: Remember if you wish to be happy, then choose to be happy. When you are unhappy it is because you have chosen to be unhappy. You are not a victim. You choose everything that happens to you. This life is your choice. You are creating it moment to moment.
Questioner: I told my husband that I don't want to end up like all our relatives. Some are depressed and taking antidepressants to survive daily. Some are workaholics, adulterers, alcoholics, and gamblers; their spouses that stay with them are so distraught. Some have such high expectations of their children, siblings, etc., and when things don't work out their way there is discontentment and disharmony in the family.
Umi: As long as you live the life of your relatives, live their standards, live their beliefs, need their approval, you will end up exactly like your relatives. That is guaranteed. If you wish to change your life, then stop re-creating this person that you know. Until you are ready to go inside, until you are ready to let go of your concepts, beliefs, opinions and judgment, until you are ready to take the jump, you will remain the same.
Lhiannon: 'Umi, what is hope? Is hopeless the same as having no hope? If there is no hope, what is there?' I am feeling like I have such high hopes for a tomorrow that never comes and for a way of being that I am not.
Umi: Society teaches you to live for tomorrow... the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow....find the perfect relationship....the wonderful reward you'll receive once you have finished the hard work. Society teaches you that it is worth working for the promotion. Society teaches you that there is always tomorrow, always living in hope, and living for hope. You are taught never be hopeless, that there is always something worth hoping for. You are taught that if you are hopeless, then you are doomed, that you are negative, that you are lost, and finished with life, that you might as well die if you have no hope. You are taught always keep hoping. Otherwise, life is useless. You are taught never to experience this moment, never be aware of the beauty that is now, that is here, to cover this moment up with the dream of a brighter future. To cover the lotus of this moment with a map of how to get to tomorrow's lotus. You are taught that you will only get there if you study the map well, work hard at understanding the map, and work hard at traveling along the road. Then, if you are really good you will discover the lotus. But all the time the lotus is under the map.
Question: Why am I not free? I long to be free.
Umi: What happened to your freedom? How did you lose this? Knowledge is a destroyer of life. You were born with wisdom. This work is about dissolving knowledge; it is not about giving you more information. It is the information that you have accepted that has destroyed your freedom. You were born free, but you accepted the beliefs that you need to become someone special, that you need to accomplish something great, that you need to excel in your activities. This has been the teaching that has made you into a prisoner of other people's dreams, of other people's desires, of other people's longings. You have been caught up in these fantasies and become a slave to this false reality. It is only your deep acceptance of these beliefs, ideals, opinions and dreams that has stolen your freedom. Drop the very foundation of your life and you are free.
Danielle: How might an intimate relationship support experiencing supreme freedom?
Umi: When you are truly intimate, then you are not in a relationship. Supreme freedom can only come from intimacy but not from a relationship. In true intimacy you and the other are not. Only when you both are not, is there true intimacy. As long as there is any identity, as long as there is an experience of a self, there can only be a relationship. And in a relationship, there are expectations from the other, there are agreements, sometimes spoken but mostly unspoken. You want some things from the other and the other wants some things from you. And you will endeavor to fulfill the expectations of the other in order that you will receive the expectations that you have from the other. This is a relationship. But this is not intimacy. In your mind you say, “I will satisfy you as long as you satisfy me.” But this is not intimacy, this is a business deal, this is a relationship. This is the common relationship that is expected by most people. But this will never satisfy, because deep inside what you really want is intimacy. In fact you need intimacy, because intimacy is the food for the soul. Without intimacy, you will dry up, you will become an old husk, a shell. So to find intimacy, you have to disappear. And when you are not, when there is no longer something, some identity that wants this and that, when there is complete peace, and when there is total acceptance of all, then and only then, there will be unimaginable intimacy. Intimacy of such depth, intimacy that you cannot imagine exists, but this intimacy is your birthright, and this intimacy is what you are longing for. But first clear the inner, and then intimacy and supreme freedom will occur.
Question: Is life a dream?
Umi: Yes, life is a dream. Nothing real happens. It is simply a dream. All the happenings, all the events are simply dramas in the dream. The same as in a sleeping dream, all seems real at the time.As long as you keep looking out, searching out, focusing out, the dream will continue. When you turn one hundred and eighty degrees and go in, the dream disappears.
It’s like the wheel. The wheel moves but the center of the wheel on which it moves is still. It has to be still in order for the wheel to move. That which is permanent is the center of the wheel. That which is impermanent, the dream, the world, is the outside of the wheel. Nothing has happened and nothing will happen. The wheel simply turns. Everything keeps repeating. What is there, is simply there. It simply is. This is the purity of This. The mind is continually searching for the happening, for the new, for something else, for something better, but all it does is keep repeating the same in a variety of forms.
There is nothing to do. Now is the time to stop and be. The Bauls say, ”It is not you who seek Him, it is He who is seeking you. It is not that you pray to Him, He is praying to you, listen, be passive, accept. He is knocking on the door and inside the room you are so occupied in searching and seeking, and doing, that you cannot listen to the knock.” There is nothing to search for. It is simply about being open and accepting, because Consciousness is searching for you, is knocking on the door continually. It continually gives you messages. It shows you this. It gives you this sound. It gives you this beauty. It gives you this feeling. It give you this scent. It gives you this taste. Consciousness is continually knocking on the door. And you just turn away and say, ”I’m going over here, I am searching, I must find this.” You have a destination, that is the nature of the mind. It’s not about negating your destination, it is simply seeing that that’s how the mind works. The mind works with destinations. This is about seeing that you are not the mind. As soon as you see that you are not the mind, then the destination evaporates. The dream dissolves.
Sandy: I love what you are saying in the emails, but why do I still live in such a struggle?
Umi: The fundamental ignorance is that you believe that you are separate from Existence, that there is a ‘me’ and a ‘you, a ‘me’ and a ‘that’. This belief is the source of all suffering. It is the source of the need to be loved, the need to be secure, the need to accomplish something special, the endless highly motivated activities that create societies. Because this belief of separation is false, Existence is continually confronting you with the manifestations of this ignorance. As long as your actions come from the belief that you are separate, as long as your actions are motivated by the need to be accepted, loved, safe, happy, comfortable, you will struggle, you will be discontented and you will always want more and more. Try this experiment. When you are in turmoil, simply stop. Simply sit. Do nothing. Give no support to the thoughts that you need to do something. Simply be quiet and do nothing. You will discover that slowly the turmoil will subside. Slowly the agitation will dissipate. What is happening is, you are falling into your natural way, you are falling into that which you really are. And this is always yours. And if you do this every day for one hour, this natural way will come more and more to the surface. And if you do this with others, it will be easier and deeper. This is simply sitting without doing anything. Simply watching, witnessing. Experiment with this and see what happens.
Kusum: Some moments I feel total loneliness. And at some moments I feel my heart full of gratitude. I feel connection with all around. What can I do to keep it?
Umi: For most people, loneliness is one the main fears, and also one of the main motivations. The fear of loneliness is so strong in many people that they will do anything to avoid it. Many of the destructive behaviors such as drinking, taking drugs, fighting are to avoid loneliness. But the most common way to avoid loneliness is to attach yourself to someone else. The fear of loneliness is so strong that many would rather stay miserable with another, than be lonely. But unless the fear of loneliness has been overcome, it is impossible to have a deep relationship. In a relationship that is out of loneliness, you will exploit the other and you will allow yourself to also be exploited by the other, and at the same time you will resent it. In fact out of loneliness you will be attracted to someone in the same situation. And the misery of two lonely people is not double, it is multiplied. Loneliness is a negative state of mind. Loneliness is the non-acceptance of yourself. But loneliness can be transformed into aloneness. Aloneness is the enjoyment of yourself. Aloneness is blissful. Aloneness is a positive state of mind. Loneliness is to long for something, always worried, missing something, desiring something. Aloneness is a deep fulfillment, tremendously content, an inner celebration. In loneliness you are scattered, you are off center, in aloneness you are centered. Aloneness is elegant, graceful, and contains an ambiance of satisfaction. To be lonely is to be a beggar. Loneliness is ugly, needy and dependent. Aloneness is total independence and joyful. With aloneness there is the feeling as if you are the whole world. Also when you are living in deep aloneness, when you are living in this contentment, no one who is lost in loneliness will be attracted to you. Your life will change. So first become alone. So first start to enjoy yourself, love yourself, accept that all is just fine if no one else comes by, because you are full, you are overflowing. And in this overflowing, your heart is full of gratitude.
Louise: Can you speak a little about the difference between love and attachment in relation to people? How do we tell if we are attached to someone verses loving them?
Umi: Watch the feelings that are happening inside of you. When you are with the other, watch how their actions, words, or simply their presence affects you. If there is a moment of discomfort then you are attached. But if, no matter what their actions are, or what their words are, you are still at peace, and still there is a deep connection to them from your core, then this is love. Love has no conditions, no goals, no ideals, love is a fragrance that flows out from your center with no objective. It is available to all. Love is not something that you do. All “love” doing, is a creation of the mind. This flowing of love happens through meditation, it is the natural outcome from total acceptance. By simply opening, allowing and accepting all, there is only love.
Question: Is love an emotion?
Umi: Love is not an emotion and love is not a feeling. Love is the very foundation that creates life. It’s the very source and it is the end. Without love there is nothing. All of Existence emerges out of love and returns to love. Love manifests in many forms. When love manifests through the body it becomes sex. It becomes the possibility to merge and disappear, to be lost back into the source. This is the first step on the spiritual ladder. When there is no ego this can lead directly to the source. When love manifests through the mind it becomes what we call love. Now there is the possibility of poetry, music, a song of delight, an expression that can touch the very core of all. When love manifests through the spirit it becomes prayer. An opening, an expression of deep gratitude, a dance of oneness. When love manifests thru the unknowable, through that which is beyond understanding, it becomes enlightenment....the fourth. Buddha called it Turiya, which means the fourth. There is no word for it, so it is simply called the fourth. It is that which cannot be made into a word. When love manifests in the fourth, there is only love. Love has returned completely to the source. This is the journey. This is the beginning and the new beginning.One of the tragedies of the human is the belief that love is an emotion...that love is a feeling. This belief puts love into the limitations of wanting, of security, of fulfillment, some kind of emotional need. But love is not something you get. It simply is. Without love there is absolutely no existence. But love is something you cover up. And because you cover it up you feel empty and desperate. Your actions become obsessive and full of longing. You cover it up with thoughts, with beliefs, with concepts and fears, with opinions and fantasies, with dramas and stories. And so you miss. But still love is always here. No matter what you do, love is always here. There is nothing you need to get. It is always here. All you need to do is let go of the beliefs, the thoughts the concepts the opinions the judgments. Let go and be open with total acceptance for all. Fall back into Love.
Dhyana: I would be grateful for suggestions on how to meditate.
Umi: Meditation is not a doing. Meditation happens. The most effective technique that can prepare the soil for meditation to happen, was given to us by Buddha. First sit comfortable. The spine needs to be perpendicular, the head held up so that the head is sitting easily on top of the spine. If your hips are loose enough to sit in lotus, that is helpful. If not, find a way to sit that is comfortable. This is not a battle with the body.
Now sitting, relax, let go of the body tensions. Feel the tensions leaving. Now, without breathing and without not breathing, in this relaxed state, the breath will come in on its own. Simply watch this. The breath will leave on its own. Simply watch this. The breath will pause. Simply watch this. The breath will come in on its own. Simply watch this. And then you may find yourself off in thoughts. Simply come back to watching the breath. And again you may be off in thoughts. Come back to watching the breath. There will be moments when there is no mind. When there are no thoughts. There is only THIS. There is only watching without there being a watcher. There is only watching. This is meditation happening. Then the mind may come in and say, “Ah! I have been meditating.” This is thoughts returning. Then go back to watching the breath going in and out and pausing and going in... Doing this for an hour every day, the meditation will come more and more often. This is watching and accepting all that is watched. This is being. In this, silence, peace and love is revealed.
Thank you for today. My heart opens when I am near you. I had an incredible time with Taliesin. We saw a great movie “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”. I think you would like it. After the movie I talked to a homeless woman. And I really talked to her, and really listened. It was so incredible. I pulled out my money and gave it to her. And I never gave money to the homeless. I had a big attitude about that. I could smell alcohol on her breath, and instead of judging her, I just let the smell slowly work up my nostrils. Totally experiencing. I gave her a hug and felt a barrier around her heart. Maybe it was my heart too, because my chest felt like it was shaking, and I was walking very fast. I also had a realization tonight. I remembered what you said about “we create the meaning of the past.” So, I looked at my parents in the way I usually do, that they somehow fucked me up. So, I stopped and looked at it again and saw it differently. I saw that they are incapable of love at this time. I didn’t want to see that before. Because understanding that means I won’t get love from them. Freedom.
Beloved Hotei, Yes, the melting is happening. As you keep going in, the old chaff drops away. Thank you for connecting with the homeless woman, she is your very self.
Question: My life seems so difficult. Everything seems such a problem. I worry about what may happen.
Umi: The truth is there are no problems. If you can’t solve it in this moment, it is not a problem. It is just a mind trip. If something happens in this moment, if a meteorite comes through the window, we’ll do what works. Jump out of the way or whatever. But to sit here and get scared that a meteorite may come through the window, or that some other difficulty will occur is the habit that many spend their whole life doing. The conditioning to worry about a possible problem is an obsession which we have been indulging in for thousands of years. Do you see the insanity of it? Then you say, “Yeah, but I have a real problem, I’m on welfare.” But this is a fact. When you accept that this is a fact, you can either accept it or do something about it. It’s not a problem, it is a fact. The moment you accept whatever is happening, with total acceptance, then you go to the feet of the Dharma. Then everything starts to change. When you don’t accept and you call it a problem, the situation continues, is maintained and will continue forever and ever, in fact lifetime after lifetime. To change this, all you have to do is accept that which is happening. Acceptance is the key.
Question: I have been seeking for years. I believe I know what I want and yet I seem to be always in the same place, nothing really changes.
Umi: It is impossible to be a seeker when you have beliefs. Having beliefs means you have reached a conclusion, therefore you are closed. Only by being open can you know. Only by being open can Consciousness enter. This is the dilemma, because as long as you identify with the mind you will have beliefs and conclusions. You will spend years searching for answers, and then you will have put these answers together into a form and create a belief. And now you are closed. When you look at your beliefs and see that they are preventing you from being open, it is an opportunity to discard them. Everything that you have been taught, discard. Then you can start afresh; then each moment can be fresh. Then it becomes possible to experience, totally, this moment. It is so simple. It is just that...just simply let go of all you have collected, and be total in this moment. Only when you are ready to do this and drop all beliefs are you a true seeker.
Questioner: How do you feel about selfishness? I was taught as a child that this is a bad behavior. In truth, I know it is neither bad nor good. However, I am at times having difficulty in dealing with it from the guy I am seeing. Can you share some of your knowledge on this subject with me? Also, Umi, it has occurred to me that the reason I choose to see him as being selfish is only because he is not doing what I would like him to do. Which would mean that I am the one who is truly being selfish. Ha ha ha. Isn’t that funny? Love to you!
Umi: Selfishness is part of the spiritual path. How is it possible to even begin the spiritual search unless there is a concern for the self? A realization comes that there has to be more than this for the self. Why am I here? Who am I? Is there some greater force? And on and on. There is also a belief that you are separate and then eventually the conclusions arises, “What am I going to do about this self?” But before this, there are the wants of the child. The moment the child is born it goes through a continual process of wants. All it does is want. There is no concern for others, only, “Give me! Give me!” “Give me food!” “Give me comfort.” This is a natural part of the survival process. The child needs to be selfish. Even the teenager needs to be selfish. They are going through a process of building the ego. Then the cunning mind moves in with, “If I help others, I will get more.” “If I am kind, good, considerate and helpful to others, I will get more in return, I may even be loved by others.” Selfishness is still there, it is just more cunning. Always there is selfishness, even though at times it is disguised as caring, loving, thoughtful, considerate... But the underlying concern is the survival and well being of this self. It is only when the self dissolves in the Awakening, does all selfishness disappear.
To be “...taught as a child that this is a bad behavior”, is to be forced into being cunning. And it is perfect that you can see that when you are not enjoying your friends selfishness, is in fact coming from your selfishness. Selfishness is normal behavior from all unconscious people. Seeing this and accepting this is freedom.
Ellen: I understand that the pain and suffering of humans is caused by our belief that we are separate. We can see this by looking at a very young child before he has been domesticated. I think I also understand that this feeling of separation is not our natural state and that we are not free if we are living with this separation. I believe animals in the wild are living in their natural state, (meaning that they obviously don’t have psychological pain and suffering because they don’t kill each other except for the immediate perception of danger or the immediate need for food, don’t commit suicide, etc.) but they have to teach their young too and they learn about dangers and predators. What is different about human domestication and the learning process of other animals that causes our feeling of separation but not theirs?
Umi: Remember that the belief that we are separate is a belief. All beliefs cause suffering. Belief is accepting that which you have not experienced. Many beliefs have grown out of misunderstandings. There was a woman who always cut off the end of her roast before putting it in the oven. When asked, why she did this, she explained that her mother always did this. When her mother was approached and asked if she too always cut off the end of her roast, she acknowledged that this was so. When she was asked why she did this, she too explained that she did it because her mother also did this. When grandmother was asked if she too always cut off the end of her roast, she said, “Of course!” “Why?” she was asked. “Because my pot’s too small!”
Beliefs, rituals and other unconscious behaviors, all begin with an activity that was needed at that time. But only at that time. The unconscious mind is sticky and hangs on, and creates a behavior pattern. The animal’s learned behavior is what a hunter uses to catch them. The humans learned behavior is what is used by the politicians and the religious leaders to catch them too. Animals and the human minds are both creatures of habit. The only reason humans have a deeper belief of separation than the animals is because the human thinks about and about everything. From thinking comes beliefs. From beliefs comes illusions. From illusions comes behavior that does not flow with this moment. From not flowing with this moment comes suffering. From suffering comes either the opportunity to hang on tighter to the beliefs and the un-fulfilling behavior and create more suffering, or to realize that you have had enough and so begin the work to be free. This is the gift of suffering. Now you are ready to be free. Now you are ready to do the work. That is what is happening here. That is the reason this community has formed. That is the reason for life.
Lhiannon: I find it very difficult to slow down.
Umi: What happens when you slow down is you become more aware of what you are doing. You become more aware of the thoughts, you become more aware of the feelings, you become more aware of the movements. And then something else occurs, everything else becomes more and more enjoyable. And then you become more aware of something out here, some sound, some event, some flower. Otherwise, you are living in armor. You’ve got your visor down, totally protected.
Lhiannon: Discovering ‘hard’, is the word that comes to my mind, like playing hard, everything I do is, it’s like hard. I was walking today, I’m like whipping’ right through it and I’m just realizing how everything...
Umi: So now you can try and do it softly. Use the word ‘soft’. Experiment, see what that feels like.
Lhiannon: I just feel vulnerable. It feels ...
Umi: YES, extremely vulnerable.
Umi: You need to be strong?
Lhiannon: Yes, I guess I feel like I do.
Umi: You need to wear armor? This is about being vulnerable, about being weak, about being totally available. That is being vulnerable, totally available. How can Existence enter you if you are strong and hard and not vulnerable? It cannot touch you, it says, “OK, you do your thing.” So you have had enough of being hard and now... you start experimenting with being soft with everything, being vulnerable, being weak...simply experiment.
Lhiannon: That has been very interesting.
Umi: Movie director Jean Renoir said, “The problem with the world is everybody has their own good opinion.” Have no opinion, not even a good one, just be soft. This is the purpose of the Sangha. In order to dissolve, you need to be soft. It is beautiful how nature provides all the examples we need. There are crabs with their hard shells, and every now and again they have to lose them because the shell won’t grow. In losing the shell, they become vulnerable and soft. But very quickly they develop a hard shell again in the new size. That is the way the mind moves. Be aware of that. You become vulnerable and soft. Watch and see how the mind will want to enclose that. You have expanded a little bit like the crab, but the mind wants to solidify the new expansion, but instead you have the choice to remain vulnerable and soft. Part of it is being slow, doing things slowly. Allowing yourself enough time so that when you are going somewhere you can cruise instead of race in the car. Go earlier. Sometimes be in the right lane so that everyone can pass you. Don’t always have the music on. Just allow the feelings and the sound of the traffic. And at the same time, be on time, so allow more time. Be aware of the swing of the pendulum from being fast to being slow. Neither works. If “Oh, I’m late, so what?” comes up, it is the pendulum swinging the other way. This is about being in the middle. The middle is simply here, gentle, allowing, not moving. It is not being frantic! And it is not a ‘“Who cares?” Each of these creates suffering. You go to work and you are doing everything that needs to be done and nobody sees you because there is no drama. You are not creating some issue to draw attention to yourself, which is what the ego naturally does. Being late is attracting attention to yourself and being frantic is attracting attention to yourself. They are both about cre- ating attention. And then you can be so fanatical about being on time that you are always in a drama. You may feel “I don’t want to go to the airport too early, because all I’ll do is sit there.” So instead you are sitting at home. Why not go out there and watch the people? Enjoy the journey to the airport. Enjoy the arrival at the airport. Enjoy checking in and casually walking to the exit gate. Watching the people. Enjoy all the different kinds of people. Enjoy the people you have never seen before and you will never see again. What a gift! Or you can go at the last minute and create lots of drama. Rushing through everything and complaining about it and getting upset. This creates attention and helps you feel that you exist. ‘Look at me!’ This leads to judgment and blame, opening to frustration and anger, until there is only stress and suffering. But within this drama your ego exists, your ego is strong. It is the same journey, whether you are late or early. One is pleasure and the other is misery. You can do that with everything you do. You can have drama, or simply be here and enjoy. But enjoying all that is around you, your ego will believe that you are a nobody. But this work is about being a nobody. Because until you are a nobody, you cannot be one with the Whole. This is awareness. Feeling each touch. Hearing every sound. Falling into the silk of this moment. Allowing the warm bath of bliss to arise from your depth, from your being. Watching, accepting, being total in this moment and knowing that you will never find what you are looking for outside yourself.
Questioner: I remember when I was a child, and my memories...the question I want to ask is that it seems like the first twelve years of your life is kind of an Enlightened state. Is it, would you say?
Umi: The first seven.
Questioner: Except there’s no intelligence..
Umi: Oh! There is more intelligence. Much more intelligence. Every seven years, there is a great shift -- and each of the seven, there is an opening. Then you go into the next phase.
Questioner: Yeah, it just seems like when you’re young, life seems so easy.
Umi: And it is just as easy now -- because nothing has really changed, except your projection onto everything, your interpretations of everything, your reactions to everything. That is what has changed. But nothing in reality has changed. The butterflies are still fluttering around that you loved as a child, flowers are there, birds, sounds, but the game has gotten bigger, but it is still a game. When my three sons were little, they used to play this game. They called it Man Game, they would pretend to be men. And they would talk in these deep, serious voices. They were hilarious! They used to love playing Man Game. The only difference was that they knew it was a game. So when you are an adult, you are doing the same thing -- you are simply playing Man Game -- but you believe it is real. That’s all. It is just a game. When you really see that, then you can be a child again, in the game, in the Man Game. They were playing extremely seriously...and then their mother would say, “Lunchtime!”, and they would all drop the game, the deep voices, the stiff body postures, and go and have lunch. Finished! They wouldn’t bring their ‘man’ worries to the lunch table.
Questioner: Society doesn’t like it when you don’t take the Man Game seriously, though.
Umi: So don’t tell them!
John: I feel, at this moment that I am not ready to be totally with a Master, but I have a strong feeling inside me to move closer. I want to be in the energy. Can I do this without being in total surrender?
Umi: Of course you can. In this work there is no ‘must’. Remember this work is about freedom. You decide. The Master can only work with you to the amount that you are willing to be open. The Master never forces, there is no coercion. The Master is simply available. The Master is available to share that which has happened here, with all those who wish to partake. But you only need to partake to the extent that you wish. The Master will help you to see what it is that is in the way of you being open and free. The Master will help you to see what it is that is in the way of you being who you really are. The Master will bring you to awareness of all that is false. But it is always you who decide.
There are four concentric circles around a Master. The outer layer are the window shoppers and this is where most people are in the beginning. They know that there is something about their life that is not working and they have begun the search. But they are not sure what to do. They come and they go, they test and they judge, they use the mind as a measure. The second layer are those who have found the Master and wish to be in the Buddha field from time to time, but still wish to maintain control over their life. These people will come to the Master when they feel they need a boost of energy. The third layer are those that are ready to do the work and wish to be with the Master, but there are still commitments in their life that are also important to them. They will be with the Master as much as possible. But then there is the fourth, the Sangha, those who are ready to be with the Master and move totally into the work. They have decided that Peace, Love and Freedom are all that matters and are ready to let go of the beliefs, opinions, ideals and judgments that have been covering their ability to be Truth.
These four concentric circles are also in tune with the four layers of awareness. The first layer is the body, the physical, the material, the basics. The second layer is the mind, through which love manifests as poetry, music, creativity and the great beauties of life. The third layer is the spirit through which there is an uncovering of the heart, from which the fragrance of love can flow. This is the layer of the unknown, but the unknown will eventually become the known and move into the second layer. And then there is the fourth layer which is simply called the fourth, Turiya. Turiya simply means the fourth. It is called the fourth so that there is no name with which the mind can create an image, can create an illusion. This is the final, this is the unknowable, but the unknowable is always a mystery, the unknowable is beyond the mind, the unknowable, the Turiya, is where love manifest in Enlightenment. This has also been called Moksha, Nirvana, but there is no name for the fourth. Here all words cease. Here there is silence.
Johanna: I was just wondering if you could explain a bit about the four noble truths. I am not sure how they work and also how are they related to the eight fold path in regards to Zen?
Umi: The Four Noble Truths, Buddha called these, ARYA SATYA
The first Noble Truth is that unconscious life is sorrow. That living in the fantasies of the mind, of living in the dreams, of believing that these are real, this is the source of sorrow. Your life is full of fantasies of, what you want for tomorrow, how you want your life to be and many dreams. If you were going to die in two weeks, suddenly all your fantasies would change. But if you had only this day to live, again your fantasies would change. Your life has been dictated by a series of fantasies. This is the first Noble Truth, that unenlightened life is sorrow.
The Second Noble truth is that the cause of sorrow is desire. Those who have escaped from the wheel of desire do not live in sorrow, they live in deep contentment. Those who live in the wheel of desire are crushed by it.
The third Noble Truth is the Eightfold Way. This Buddha calls, SAMYAK living, for which there is no word for translation in the English language. It has been translated as ‘right’. But right implies that there is a wrong. Therefore this mistranslation leads to the misunderstanding that this is to do with morality. Morality is a behavior imposed from the outside. The eightfold way is nothing to do with morality. This is about the inside. SAMYAK means living in tune with the Whole. This can only happen from the inside. It cannot be an imposed, or resolute behavior to be ‘good’. It is nothing to do with being good. With meditation, awareness begins to happen. Being in the Buddha field, with an Awaken One, in the vibration, in the tune of the Buddha field, this brings you into tune with the Whole. This then changes your views, your intentions, your speech, your livelihood, your efforts and your mindfulness. And with these seven, there opens awareness. And then all activities begin to happen with awareness. Now there is walking with awareness. Now there is working with awareness. Now there is eating with awareness. And everything changes. It is impossible to eat meat with awareness. To eat meat you have to be unaware, lost in the dream. Awareness spreads through all your activities. And these seven of the Eightfold Way lead to the eighth, which is Samadhi, which is being totally in tune with the Whole. This is the Third Noble Truth.
And the Fourth Noble Truth is, the end of sorrow, the cessation of sorrow, nirvana. One who has followed the way of the Four Noble Truths, and reaches the Fourth, is free.
Don: If, as Osho says, the witness arises when the observer and observed are one (an act of grace), why struggle with the practice of observing (meditation)?
Umi: Yes, the witness arises when the observer and the observed are one, but do not “...struggle with the practice of observing.” This work is not a struggle. It is the struggle that gets in the way. Simply sitting being aware of the breath, that’s all. Simply sitting being aware of the breath, and then simply sitting with awareness, and then simply sitting. In this not doing nothing and not doing anything, the witness arises. Meditation is not a doing, is not observing, meditation happens when there is no one here. So let go of the practice of observing, simply be aware of the breath. In this sitting, the miracle happens.
Barb: Thank you for all of your e-mail replies. They are very helpful on this quest. You mentioned to me to give up the witness, when I was doing those breathing exercises with you and the group. I had the witness there too and even when I was asked to share the next day, the witness was saying, “here goes the drama” which makes it hard to share what is really going on. My problem is when I give up the witness, I don’t catch myself falling back into the old standby ways of communicating. Can it be too soon to give up this witness? My ego of course, would like to see the “progression”.
Umi: Witnessing only happens when you are not. You have created a false witness. This is a way for the mind to stay in control. You have one part of your mind watching another part of your mind, and most of your ‘witnessing’ is simply thinking about that which is happening. You say, “...the witness was saying, ‘here goes the drama’...” This is the mind. The witness never speaks, thinks, considers, understands, contemplates, these are all actions of the mind. Witnessing only happens when you are not. There is no witness, there is only witnessing. This is why you were advised to give up the witness. Let this false witness go. Simply watch the breath. You also say. “... when I give up the witness, I don’t catch myself falling back into the old standby ways of communicating.” Who is this that is trying to catch you from falling back into the old standby ways of communicating? This is the mind. The mind is trying to develop techniques to be ‘better’, to not communicate in the old ways, but trying to communicate in new ‘better’ ways. This is simply the mind tying itself in tighter and tighter knots. This is a Gordian knot, that cannot be untied. This is why you need to give up the witness. Simply watch the breath and then slowly witnessing will happen on its own accord. Also forget about “My ego of course, would like to see the ‘progression’.” There is no progress. The Gordian knot is not untied or slowly diminished. The mind is not improved, or made comfortable, or made workable, or made acceptable. This work is about no-mind. Simply watch the breath.
Victoria: I have a different take on your comments following “There is nothing to do”. I help my body “digest the food” by eating healthful foods, drinking enough water, exercising and sending happy messages to my endorphins. I “keep breathing” by practicing deep breathing in fresh air and deep-breathe during meditation. Having a cardiomyopathy, I “keep the heart beating” with exercise, prescribed medications and a healthy attitude. I would say that this is plenty to do!
Umi: There is much fear here! There is a strong life ideal here! There is much fear as to what might happen if you stopped living this way. Your life is revolving around the action of doing that which you believe is important. Around that which YOU believe is important. But you are welcome to do all these activities. You are welcome to believe that these are necessary. You are welcome to make an effort and to support your belief of how to be. This is what is happening, supporting a belief of how to be. But there is a limitation here. All beliefs create limitations. There is that which you do and that which you don’t do. Wherever there is a “don’t do” which is a limitation—there is a prison. Therefore you are in the prison of the mind. The mind is in control. No matter how beautiful the ideal is, it is still of the mind. The prison may have gold bars, and studded with rubies and diamonds, but it is still a prison. As long as you will do this and not do that, you are living within a pre-conceived life. There is no freedom in a pre-planned, pre-conceived life, a life that can only be this way. This is your choice. If this works for you, good. Finished!
But when you are ready to let go of all your ideals, then the real work begins. Then you can begin to live spontaneously, from moment to moment, with no preconceived ideas of dos and dont’s, simply being alive to that which is happening and being open and receptive to all that is happening. Then the doing ends. Then you move into wu wei, doing without doing. This is the natural way. This is the water course way of Tao. This is living in the intimacy of not knowing, of Zen. This is living in acceptance. Love, Truth and Bliss can only happen in this total Freedom.
Michael: Thank you for these dialogue. As an Awaken Master, I’m curious what choices does Umi make in His daily life?
Umi: Each moment is unique. Nothing is carved in stone. Umi is available to whatever the Sangha needs. There is no choice here. Does a river choose to flow down the rapids?
Michael: For example, is He a vegetarian? Does He encourage His students to be? Umi: The Master has no preference. The Master can eat anything. But the Sangha needs to let go of all preferences, be open, be easy, have a free flowing energy through the body, be sensitive, be vibrant and this is easiest in being a vegetarian. The Master lives with the Sangha and eats the same food. Michael: What is His daily schedule?
Umi: Rises at 5.30 am, sits with the Sangha in silent Satsang 6.00 am to 7.00 am. Is available at these times for Sangha questions. Stays in room most of the day. Is available. Gives speaking Satsang Wednesdays 7.30 pm and Sunday 11.00 am. In the evenings, sometimes sees a movie or wanders in Santa Cruz. Usually goes to sleep at 9.00 pm.
Michael: Does He still choose to meditate, or is everything meditation for Him, or both?
Umi: Both, without choice.
Michael: Probably the response would be “come and see for yourself,” but I imagine the people who receive these e-mails would like to know this information. Blessings. Umi: Yes, come and see for yourself. Because when you come all will change.
Joe: Umi, is depression all mind stuff..
Umi: In this moment, feel depression. Go deep into this feeling. You can actually create it, at this moment. All you have to do is think about some situation in your life that you do not like, and then think of how you would like it to be. Feel your ideal, and then go deep into feeling of that which is actually happening. Your hopeless situation. Brow beat yourself. Feel bad that you are not living up to your ideal. Through allowing these emotions to arise out of these thoughts you will begin to experience depression. If you become obsessive, then the depression becomes chronic.
Depression happens when that which is happening and that which you want to happen are not the same. Remember what you want, comes deep, from your conditioning. You accepted it because you believed, as a child, that this belief was essential for your survival. And now that which is happening does not fit, so now, unconsciously, you believe that your survival is being threatened. You are not living up to this accepted standard, you are not accomplishing what you believe you should. You are not doing what your mother, father, priest, friend, teacher, whoever, conditioned you to believe that you should be doing. And usually this is unconscious. You are not living up to their ideals, you are not accomplishing that which you believe you should accomplish.
This is the cause of depression. When you were born, you did not have these beliefs; they were given to you. But the thing is, you do not need them anymore, They are just baggage; you are carrying this old baggage around. So you do not deal with the depression, you let go of the baggage, the ideals, the beliefs. Simply accept that which is happening, totally accept. When depression comes, look to see what is the ideal that you are carrying and stop carrying it. Simply by living in acceptance of every moment, in all that is happening, depression will be no more.
Jeremy: Do you have any recommendations or exercises to help one to have patience with the long process of discerning one’s calling in life?
Umi: There are two callings in life. One is from the head and the other is from the heart. The head calling is to become somebody special. To accomplish something special. To excel at some ability and be recognized by others. The head calling, yearns to prove that, “yes, I am special.” and “yes many other people recognize my specialness.” This is the path of society. This is the path that society programs you to want. From “what are you going to be when you grow up?” to the continual parade of examples of unusual accomplishments that are presented to you. You are continually lifted and encouraged into being extraordinary. The heart calling is simply to be one with God, Consciousness, Existence, the Ultimate.
If your calling in life is of the head, then there are plenty of books to guide you. Books by Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie and many others. But if your calling in life is from the heart, then you need to find an Enlightened Master. This is the ultimate. And only one who is There, who is Realized, can work with you in fulfilling this yearning. There are no exercises that can be given to you via email, books, tapes or even speaking. Because this is not general. To embark on this path requires your willingness to work with a Realized one, because each person is totally unique and any general exercise will not account for your own uniqueness.
And the third thing is, this does not have to be a long process. This does not demand patience. This simply requires a willingness, an open heart and the ability to say, “yes”. This path is a love affair with Existence. This path is a dance, a celebration, the ultimate party, the ultimate joy. The Master leads you into your Truth.
Anna: Dear heart Umi, I am taking a deep breath as I write this email, every thought I have has become a discourse between you and your questioner, sent in perfect time, arriving in perfect time. There is no space between any of this...who am I now? perhaps the body I am “here” but I am all of this? it’s mind-blowing, ecstatic and frightful all at the same time.
Umi: With the river, every rock, curve, fallen log, hanging branches of a tree, are the river. The land on each side is the river. The river is not only the water. The water is the energy of the river, all else is the nature of the river. Without any of these there would be no river. And where does the river end? There is no end. Even the distant stars are the river. Even the moon that sometimes reflects in the river, is the river. And what is the land? Without the river there would be no land. The river is the land and the land is the river. In truth there are no boundaries. The mind sees two banks, separate. It sees two distinct and separate events. But this is only their appearance which is created by the mind’s need to categorize everything, because actually the two banks meet under the water. In reality there is no separation. These human bodies are the river, they are the land, the stars, the sun, and on and on. Because there is only THIS. THIS is Consciousness
Question: I definitely have the experience of being a separate entity. But you have said that this is an illusion. How did this illusion occur?
Umi: It is like this. A little girl of five was dressed up by her mother in finery, in special adorning clothes. She went out to play with her friends and showed them how fine she was dressed. She felt pleased about the attention she received and happy that her friends appreciated her.
But now make this change. She is two years old. The same clothes are put on her. The same silk and lace, but she is two. She tears them off. She finds them a total nuisance; she is not interested in this covering, this obstruction, to her feelings, to her freedom.
So what happened between two and five?
There comes a moment--sometime between two and five--when the awareness that ‘I am a separate entity’ emerges. This is natural. This is the process. This is Consciousness playing hide and seek. Remember the Whole, the Totality of all, the Oneness, cannot experience. It is impossible to experience if there is no separation. Sugar does not know it is sweet, therefore sugar creates an ant in order to experience its sweetness.
The forming of the body is the beginning of the process that leads to separation. And ONLY through this separation can there be experience. But here is the secret. As long as you avoid the experiences, as long as you think, as long as you live in the past and the future, you will remain in the suffering of separation. Whereas, by totally experiencing all that is happening, by allowing all experiences, by being one with all that is happening, by accepting all, then you dissolve back into the Whole. But here is the beauty. Now you can have your cake and eat it too. Because now there is no longer separation and yet the body still exists. So until the body returns to the earth there are continual divine experiences without identification, without suffering. Now all the experiences can occur without suffering. Now there is only peace. Now there is only bliss. Now there is freedom. This is the Transformation. This is the gift of all the Masters. This is the song that comes from the Buddha field.
Beloved friends, once again, here are a few words:
There is a concept that there is a bridge needed between your everyday experience and the truth, and freedom and moksha. This is purely a concept. Because when you witness, when you sit and watch without judgment-keep coming back, keep coming back to the Witness--slowly what happens...it’s like the mist, the mist in the morning slowly seems to drop down until it just finishes in the creek beds-- just wisps over the water and it’s gone--but it seems to come down, evaporate at the top as the sun melts it off. Well, this is what happens with the witnessing. All concepts, all these fantasies that you’ve created about what’s real start to just fade like that until you find yourself in the Truth. So there are no bridges. Gurdijieff called this “self-remembering”. It’s not just when you sit; it’s continually remembering by witnessing. Just keep self-remembering, you keep witnessing all the time. Everything you do, you’re witnessing what’s happening--without judgments, without thoughts. And the mist can drop. And when the mist drops down, there’s nothing to project the mind onto. So there’s nothing to reflect back to convince you that your thoughts are true. All the fabrications that are created in the mind drop away.
Question: You have said we posses the Buddha nature, then why do I suffer? Why am I not living in peace?
Umi: You are simply in denial. You have been brainwashed to believe that you are unworthy, that you have to earn worthiness. You have been bombarded with this concept by religions and society. You have been conditioned to believe that you have to struggle to be worthy of having been given a life, or else you will suffer or even be punished. But the truth is you do possess the Buddha nature...you are enlightened, but you are avoiding it. You are continually avoiding it....cunningly, cleverly, desperately, frantically. You are avoiding it. The first Zen Master, Bodhidharma, said “You all know the way, few walk it and the ones who don’t walk it cry regularly “Show me the way,” “Where is the way?,” “Give me a map,” “Which way is it?” This is what you do. This is the avoiding. This is the continual avoiding of what you already have… what you already know... what you already are. There is absolutely no reason to do and say and be the way that makes you suffer except because you’re not being attentive. Every moment be attentive, watching. Watching yourself... being aware of what’s happening continually. Then you know the process. It is so simple. As long as you believe you are the body mind you are like a dot, a speck, a speck in a moment. And then you have lost your vastness. The vastness that you are. The truth is that all of Existence is inside you.
In his Satsang Messages, Enlightened Zen Master Umiji explains simple solutions to complex problems through deep understanding.
Visual graphics to illustrate the concept of “Waking Up To Oneness and Celebrating Separateness"
Gain insight to understand ourselves and the world around us for joyful living.
In his Satsang Messages, Enlightened Zen Master Umiji explains simple solutions to complex problems through deep understanding.
Visual graphics to illustrate the concept of “Waking Up To Oneness and Celebrating Separateness"
Gain insight to understand ourselves and the world around us for joyful living.
Wholistic Conflict Resolution Tools
The guide includes details about conflict resolution for individuals, families and small groups of communities and organizations.
Wholistic Conflict Resolution Tools
This workbook includes writable PDF Forms to help resolve conflicts for individuals, families and small groups of communities and organizations.
Help Witnessingworks.com keep developing new content to be shared with the world. We have many projects that we want to pursue and develop and need your help to make them happen. Thank You for your contributions.
©2017 WitnessingWorks.com. All rights reserved.